By Deborah Hall, 436th Medical Operations Squadron’s Family
Advocacy Program outreach manager / Published October 15, 2014
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. (AFNS) -- When life gets
challenging, stressors can build and conflicts can escalate, sometimes leading
to abuse. Preventing domestic abuse is fundamental to basic relationship
maintenance. Partners in healthy relationships work together every day to
nurture their relationship, taking care to address issues and concerns when
they occur. Healthy relationships should be safe, respectful and positive.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month across the
country and throughout the Department of Defense. Domestic violence is in
direct conflict with the culture of dignity and respect fostered by the
professional values of the armed forces. Unfortunately, almost 9,000 cases of
the more than 18,000 incidents reported to the Family Advocacy Program in 2013
met DOD criteria for domestic abuse or intimate partner violence.
Relationships should be safe. Feeling safe in a
relationship, both physically and emotionally, is essential. Individual and
family stress can escalate and sometimes lead to domestic abuse. Abuse is never
acceptable. Trusting your partner and committing to your relationship
completely helps build a safe environment for both of you. "Fighting
fair" through the use of nonviolent conflict resolution and being kind to
one another are essential ingredients of a safe relationship. Learning to
forgive, owning your mistakes, and apologizing also contributes to a healthy
bond.
Relationships should be respectful. Respecting your partner
is one of the fundamental ways to show love. Trust, mutual respect, and open
communication are the foundations of a fulfilling and safe relationship.
Healthy relationships must be nurtured and they require motivation, commitment,
and ongoing work by both partners. Every couple faces challenges at some point.
Working through those problems together in a healthy way can strengthen the relationship.
Relationships should be positive. For you, your partner, and
your children -- put effort into your relationships. Supporting your partner
and working together as a team toward a common goal contributes to an enjoyable
relationship. Encouraging those you love and being a good example for your
children pays great dividends. Children learn about relationships by watching
the people they know best. Set an example by practicing healthy relationship
skills with your partner. Most importantly, enjoy life together!
We all have a role in preventing domestic violence. In our
roles as wingmen, military members, military spouses, and DOD civilians, look
out for each other and act to promote the safety and well-being of all. Be
alert to risk factors for domestic violence, such as: family discord, extreme
jealousy, and behavioral health concerns; and encourage early intervention.
Being an observant and caring wingman may help a military member preserve their
family, health and career.
As a good wingman, how can you help? Good wingmen know that
seeking help is a sign of strength. There are a significant number of resources
available to Airmen that support healthy, nurturing relationships. By knowing
these resources and encouraging your fellow Airmen to seek assistance during
times of need, you are creating a wingman culture of caring. We are all members
of the Air Force Family -- a relationship to be nourished, resulting in a
culture of caring.
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